He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have fence marks all over my body
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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