i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
