Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
