Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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