if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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