and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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