He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
