He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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