thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
