i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
