Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
