Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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