Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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