Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
