Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All the doctor said was why
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
