Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
do nipples grow back?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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