i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
