After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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