Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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