those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
