So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
