How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
