wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
