I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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