This show inspires me to have sex in space
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
