i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
