before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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