Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to sanitize my soul.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
