we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
