can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize