Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
