The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
