You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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