i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
