i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
