Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How naked do you want me to be?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
