when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
