Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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