i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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