Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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