And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize