Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
