why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
