please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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