We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
