No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
