i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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