Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
