My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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