I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
