Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
