It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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