Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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