did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He? As in you personified your dick?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
