i would punch a child for taco bell
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
