these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
