After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am available for nakedness
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
