she smelled like a LAN party
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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