my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
