it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
