Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
