Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
